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truth is subjective

so here it is. i don't even care anymore. before anyone else decides to tell any more lies.

the truth? i was keri's accomplice. i never siad i wastn'. i admitted it to amber. but it wasn't my idea, i didn't start it and i didn't actually send the messages to jess. keri is a big girl who made her own decision, knowing full well what drama would ensue

did i ever talk shit about jess? i sure did. i hated her when she first came around. my friends had a lot of terrible things to say about her and i didn't trust her. but i was nice to her, because ben cared about her and i care about ben. so i was a good fucking friend to her. and she was nice enough to me. she swore we were friends when i left for kansas, but didn't feel the need to tell me jo3 had cheated on me. so do i resent that? i sure do. and i'll never trust her. but i do think she has changed. and i'm happy for her and ben. i'll probably never really trust her, but i do think she's becoming a better person. so, good for her

keri adams: you and ben never bother getting ahold of me anyway...

I guess i'm not a true friend...

I wrote that to jess....

i'm coming back up tomorrow late afternoon...
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: ummm.. .yeah.. and how are we suposed to do that...
keri adams: you ahve my cell phone number don't you
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: ??? mmmm.no.. I used to, but everytime I called it was off
swell: the only people they call are phil and amber
keri adams: pray for me...
keri adams: yeah i know
swell: they don't even call me! i got on ben about that
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: Well.. you are never online.... and live 2 hours away?
swell: and phil and amber are such shitty friends to them keri adams: well...everytime i talkto phil and amber you always manage to get ahold of them...don't they live 2 hours away...
keri adams: what did ben say about it
keri adams: i need to stop talking to her while i can...or shits gonna turn ugly
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: UMM.. Yeah.. email..keri.. you could just as easily get ahold of us.. but this is retarded.. I thought we were a little bit older... ?? High school drama..

Sorry.. Ben works everyday 9-7 and I am a full time student... PLUS we are full time parents.. We honestly do not even have time to keep up with each other..
keri adams: what should i write back?
keri adams: HELP!
swell: just tell her you don't have time for her shit either
keri adams: haha ok
swell: if she wants to pretend the two of you are friends
swell: but then treat phil and amber a million times better
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: we are always busy..

we never get to talk to anyone
we still love you.
swell: despite the fact that they treat ben and jess like shit
swell: haha wai ti know
swell: just tell her you wish that she would treat you like she does phil and amber. so you're just going to start acting like they toward her
keri adams: well i guess it just kinda bothered me when you say that badrew is the only person that really bothers to get ahold of you guys when i try to everytime i'm in town...
swell: who said that?
keri adams: man i should just call phil and amber out right now
keri adams: said which one?
swell: that badrew is the only...
keri adams: i did i meant to send it to her hahaha fowarded it too soon
swell: i see
keri adams: hmm should i call phil and amber out....hell i don't talk to them either!!! hahaha
swell: do it
swell: i would if jess were talking to me
swell: but i guess i'm such a true friend she doesn't need to
keri adams: oh i'm getting there...haha i'll keep you posted
swell: hehe thanks
keri adams: and i ain't trying to start shit jess, i'm really not, i just wanted to that off my chest...when i have drove down sometimes just to see you guys...like right after ayden was born who else did that besides me and amanda...has phil and amber came down to see you guys yet?
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: nope.. and we appriciate that.. did we not tell you that everytime you have done it? I was just pissed then about all of my friends all ball state.. they really hurt me to be honest...

it was nothing against you
keri adams: it really boggles me how phil and amber can be such "true friends to you and ben when they don't make it an effort to go down and see you and the baby. and before you go calling them your "true" friends, jess amber talks mad shit
keri adams: its ben now... and he just asks

what shit does amber talk??
keri adams: help me
swell: lol
swell: just say "i shouldn't have said that. if you want to know, ask them yourselves. but you can imagine since they make no effort to see you or ayden that they really don't think much of the life you have now
keri adams: good job...its hard for me b/c i don't really talk to them that much and i was kinda intoxicated when they came over.
keri adams: amber's gonna call me out too...and prolly u
she'll say...well amanda and keri talk shit too
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: too late, you've said something....i want to know right now.....what the hell do they say
swell: i'll admit it
keri adams: yeah i know...

shit.....i'm at a loss of words...
swell: hmmm
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: we don't have a chance to talk to anyone much anymore so i wanna know right now what they say behind our backs... and you can tell them so say it to my fucking face since i've grown up and don't talk shit about anyone anymore.....i've fucking matured and i have nothing but love for you all.....
swell: well what do you think they'd say? what they always say - that jess is a welfare mom and she used ben to get exactly what she wanted--even if it wasn't waht he wanted
keri adams: ok i'll write that to them..
swell: that jess is completely irresponsible when it comes to school and money and providing for ayden's future
swell: ^they both are actually
swell: cuz that's all phil and amber talk about when i see them
keri adams: that jess is a welfare mom and she used ben to get exactly what she wanted--even if it wasn't waht he wanted
that jess is completely irresponsible when it comes to school and money and providing for ayden's future
you both are actually...
i've only hung out with them once after i moved out from downtown, and amber was liek you guys call them all the time and talk to them and how they're your true friends and it all just kinda boggled me.
swell: thats good
keri adams: and she was like I really don't like jess, i don't kow why she e-mails all the time and shit like that..
I mean i'm not trying to go for TOP FRIEND AWARD or anything but when jess sits there and says she knows who her true friends are, she really doesn't
keri adams: ya know tell em i saif fuck em both then if they can't say it to our face, i was nothng but nice ta both of em so the least they can do is man up and tell us outright...piss on them both if they wanna be that way but i showed nothin but love to em and the same goes for all my firends....i love you all and im happy with my life so if you aren't happy for me then fuck off, and i know jess and she's not like that....we're completely happy and we're doin just fine with everything...
keri adams: and in my eyes me and amanda are two out of all your friends that have made an effort to come by and see how you all are doin besides your friends away at college, that's understandable, but we live in indy and hell we come down and  i mean, i don't know what i mean...you guys always tell phil and amber you'll come up and visit them and  you won't even give me a curtousy call to say you're in town or anything, or hey can we stop by or something like that, its like you've forgot about all your other friends in indy besides phil and amber, they talk shit about amanda, they're gonna do it to you too
swell: nice!
keri adams: haha YEAH!! hahaha
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: like i said, i've never had anything but love and you and amanda both should know how close we really consider you guys....family as a matter of fact.....i am sorry about the no calls and i'm really never online to talk either....keri i really do hope you know better....

how many late nights have we had....your a part of my family....don't ever forget that even if i can't talk to you all the time...the same goes for the way jess feels....you and amanda are the best to us you really are...
swell: well it's nice to hear you say that, but it's pretty hard to see that sometimes. we know you're busy and don't expect a lot of effort on your part, but when you make that effort for some people and not for others it can hurt our feelings. especially when its people who treat them as badly as phil and amber do
swell: tell them that!
keri adams: ok!
keri adams: Shit foward that to me again
swell: well it's nice to hear you say that, but it's pretty hard to see that sometimes. we know you're busy and don't expect a lot of effort on your part, but when you make that effort for some people and not for others it can hurt our feelings. especially when its people who treat you as badly as phil and amber do
keri adams: haha ok! i got it!
keri adams: i just had to get it off my chest b/c i can't tlak to ya on computer unless i'm in madison...so...haha
but my cell phone number is 812-873-2350
swell: =)
keri adams: i gotta get used to this icq mess again hahhaa
that was kinda fun
swell: yeah it was actually amusing when amber started all that LJ drama with me
keri adams: ~*piXy*~ (ICQ#45197055) Wrote: thats why we care about you guys so much and its not like we make a huge effort to talk to them, shit i can bearly make an effort to talk to chambers and he lives here...but i promise we'll try harder keri....we love you guys and the last thing we want to do is let you down....

all i can say is sorry and forgive us

and while we're at it, i didn't run to anyone. amber immediately accused me and i told her the truth--that i was not the one who did this. i would have admitted my involvement, but she was too busy bitching to listen. but, of course, no one wants to hear that.


( 10 comments — Say Something )
Feb. 18th, 2004 06:31 pm (UTC)
she swore we were friends when i left for kansas, but didn't feel the need to tell me jo3 had cheat
amanda.. I hardly knew you before you left for kansas.. I thought you were nice.. but did not swear we were friends. With the whole Joe thing.. I was told that you had someone else in Kansas too....and honestly, I did not know if you would beleive me, beings that we harly knew each other at all. but yeah.. I am not mad.. I really do not care...I am way past over this drama.. Just letting you know tho.. I was not being a bitch.. Keri or Ben knew you way better and could have told you too.
Feb. 18th, 2004 06:43 pm (UTC)
Re: she swore we were friends when i left for kansas, but didn't feel the need to tell me jo3 had c
jess, i remember you distinctly saying that we were like "best friends" before i left. i remember because i couldn't believe someone i hardly knew (or liked) would say that about me.

but you can't deny that we were friends when i came home. well, i suppose you could, since you didn't have the decency to tell me about what had happened. but we knew each other much better after new year's so you really have no excuse. for the record, neither do ben and keri.

as for me having someone else in kansas, it doesn't matter, because i came home and told joe about it. but you kids left me sitting in the dark about his trists for six fucking months.

but whatever, i really am done fighting with everyone. i just wanted to get the truth out. i'm sick of people weaving their little lies to use people.
Feb. 18th, 2004 06:49 pm (UTC)
but whatever, i really am done fighting with everyone.
yeah.. but I am sure that we were rolling... actually I am positive.. that really is the only time I ever got the change to talk to you before you left. I am sorry about Joe.. but I can not change it. If I could I would.. so that you did not go through all of the hell that you did.. but all that I can say is sorry. And I am not fighting with you..I am just also getting the truth out
Feb. 19th, 2004 01:04 am (UTC)
stone cold
Feb. 19th, 2004 07:13 am (UTC)
Re: stone cold..
ok... whatever Amanda.. I am not even worried about it.
It's done. It's over with. Joe cheated on you. I, not knowing you, did not have the decency to tell you. My bad.
No use in dwelling and arguing over it. =)
Feb. 18th, 2004 10:28 pm (UTC)
i know i dont have any business saying anything and i dont know most of the people you mentioned, all i know is i hear about how much life sucks from lots of people and i think things would be so much cooler if everyone just kept negative thoughts about people to themselves, for example i look at the number of friends i have and cant even imagine saying anything negative about any of them because i cant afford to lose any of them, i just strive to make as many as possible, whether i know them for the rest of my life or just a few months.
Feb. 19th, 2004 01:07 am (UTC)
oh i agree
but it turns out i already lost 'em. seems, they don't hold me in the same regard.
Feb. 20th, 2004 09:55 pm (UTC)
Re: oh i agree
yeah i know my plan only works if it is mutual.
Feb. 21st, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
Re: oh i agree
Amanda i'm still here, and i still care. I know i said some pretty harsh shit. Getting mad over the cell phone thing was a bit too much, but it seemed like you were just as mad. I think we both just got miscommunicated. I'm sorry. I'm not asking you to forgive, or anything like that. But i wanted to let you know that i do still care, and that i am sorry. You don't have to respond to this i was just letting you know. I take back all the hurtful shit i said to you, i never really meant that shit. Bye
Apr. 1st, 2004 06:32 am (UTC)
i don't think we both miscommunicated. i think you communicated pretty clearly and you continue to do so.

you don't answer or return my calls and emails. that's cool.

i'd like to get my money back sometime. think that's possible?
( 10 comments — Say Something )

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