...how interesting it is to see people welcoming you into their midst so eagerly, accepting you, flocking to you. why is it, do you suppose? they do plenty of snubbing on their own, but just let someone who's snubbed them all her life suddenly break down and turn gregarious -- and they'll all come rolling on their backs with their paws folded, for you to rub their bellies. why? there could be two explanations, i think. the nice one would be that they are generous and wish to honor you with their friendship. only the nice explanations are never the true ones. the other is that they know you're degrading yourself by needing them, you're coming down off a pinnacle -- every loneliness is a pinnacle -- and they're delighted to drag you down through their friendship. though, of course, none of them knows it consciously, except yourself.