but, as i said, they are no more. i have thrown most of them out, along with the trophies and plaques and all other things celebratory of this life. so, why, after all of that is gone, would i begin to fear for my legacy?
regret, i suppose.
what's done is done, though. so i wonder, what can i do now? what will i do today that should be remembered tomorrow? nothing comes to mind. i have fleeting passions, but nothing noteworthy.
it concerns me that i should have this desire to be remembered well, all of a sudden. sure, there's always been an unspoken hope, for who wants to be remembered poorly or, worse yet, forgotten? but haven't i got a half century yet to live? won't a death prior to that ripe old age be only tragic and unfortunate?
another birthday on the horizon must be blowing in these dark winds. another year wasted, more so than any other before it. another empty calendar beckons more of the same.