sWell (shakewell) wrote,

waking up

sometimes, a little crush is all i need to pick my spirits up, to take my mind off things. i like to be infatuated with people. and not just sexually or romantically, but intellectually or even humorously.

i've been thinking, lately, about how, when i'm depressed, it's usually not about my life as much as it is about how i can't stand the rest of the world. when i'm suicidal, it's not because i don't think i deserve to live, it's because i don't think i want to live surrounded by the people i know.

so, that's why crushes are nice. they're refreshing. they're a reminder that there are good, shiny, happy things out there, amongst the terrible, dirty, cruel masses.

so, here i am again, rising from this stupid, cyclical valley of depression. prepare yourselves for the springtime of swell!
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