sWell (shakewell) wrote,

i'm really going to die here

i cannot even begin to fathom why i am afraid (yes, afraid!) to make food in front of people, but i have no doubt this is going to cause some major problems for me.

i would just eat sandwiches, but we have no bread.

we went down to the cliffs behind the farm today. the ocean is seriously in my back yard. we've had a lot of rain since i've been here though, so the creek was flowing and the boys were all too scared to go down.

i would have gone. i wasn't scared at all. it looked easy to me. as i pondered ways to talk someone into coming down with me, i thought of things i'd tell sean before i left and this came to mind: if i slip and die, tell my mom i'm sorry and tell my dad i had a time.

i'm weird.

oh, i gouged another hole in my foot today. this time on a barbed wire fence. i'm an idiot.


tom nook is selling a throne for 700,000 bells or so today. i'm tempted to fish all day and see if i can make it, but i don't want to seem that antisocial. or, maybe i do. i really don't fit in here.

i'm tempted to just leave. to bum around the island for three months. sleep on the beach, in the gutter. i don't know. i don't care. i just don't belong here. and if i'm going to starve to death anyway, i might as well be enjoying the path that's taking me there.
Tags: hawaii, social anxiety
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.