after much stressing and cramming, i slept through my western civ exam today. freakin' awesome.

whatever, though. i really just don't care about anything at the moment. i mean, i know missing an exam is a pretty big deal and i should be upset, but whatever. any emotion i might be feeling is coming more from a sense of obligation to be normal than any actual attachment or importance.

i don't know when i slipped into this funk.

should anyone want to hang out and do calculus this weekend, i could use the help and motivation.

should anyone care to sit in on my physics lab tomorrow night, i could really use the company.

i went on a mission to find horchata [mexican rice milk] yesterday. turns out i speak no spanish, and the mexican grocers spoke no english. it was really embarrassing. anyway, finally found some at a gas station in zionsville. and then i drank some with some delicious bicardi o. yummy stuff. like orange dream popsicles.

i think i just got dumped.

had another hot date, yesterday. it was actually pretty unhot. in fact, there were dirty socks thrown at my face and much fun made of me. i'm pretty sure these dates will get progressively more unhot on each successive occurrence. oh well. i still had a good time. besides, i think i'm kind over the hotness associated with relationships. i'm down for detachment.

i think it hurts more to be ignored than to be hated, not that either feels particularly good.

i considered driving to new york this weekend to see point break live, but it was sold out. i know that's a long haul for just one show, but i've never been to NYC and it seemed like a fun adventure to lure me out of this blackhole i'm sliding into. should this show ever come to a town near you, please invite me to come see it with you. i'm very curious about it.

do the damn thing:
http://kevan.org/johari?name=swell
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=swell

Arena (known to self and others) reflective, self-conscious	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting, bold, caring, clever, complex, confident, energetic, extroverted, giving, helpful, idealistic, independent, intelligent, knowledgeable, loving, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, spontaneous, sympathetic, warm, witty
Façade (known only to self) introverted, logical, nervous	Unknown (known to nobody) able, adaptable, brave, calm, cheerful, dependable, dignified, friendly, happy, ingenious, kind, mature, modest, observant, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, sensible, shy, silly, tense, trustworthy, wise

Dominant Traits

57% of people think that swell is independent
57% of people think that swell is intelligent

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (28%) adaptable (0%) bold (28%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (28%) cheerful (0%) clever (28%) complex (28%) confident (14%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (28%) extroverted (14%) friendly (0%) giving (14%) happy (0%) helpful (14%) idealistic (14%) independent (57%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (57%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (14%) logical (0%) loving (14%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (14%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (14%) self-assertive (14%) self-conscious (14%) sensible (0%) sentimental (14%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (42%) sympathetic (14%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (14%) wise (0%) witty (42%)

Arena (known to self and others) glum, insecure, passive

Blind Spot (known only to others) timid, cynical, embarrassed

Façade (known only to self) panicky, overdramatic, unreliable

Unknown (known to nobody) incompetent, intolerant, inflexible, cowardly, violent, aloof, stupid, simple, irresponsible, vulgar, lethargic, withdrawn, hostile, selfish, unhappy, unhelpful, needy, unimaginative, inane, brash, cruel, ignorant, irrational, distant, childish, boastful, blasé, imperceptive, chaotic, impatient, weak, loud, vacuous, unethical, insensitive, self-satisfied, smug, rash, dispassionate, dull, predictable, callous, inattentive, cold, foolish, humourless

Dominant Traits

100% of people think that swell is timid
100% of people agree that swell is glum
100% of people agree that swell is insecure
100% of people think that swell is cynical
100% of people think that swell is embarrassed
100% of people agree that swell is passive

All Percentages

incompetent (0%) intolerant (0%) inflexible (0%) timid (100%) cowardly (0%) violent (0%) aloof (0%) glum (100%) stupid (0%) simple (0%) insecure (100%) irresponsible (0%) vulgar (0%) lethargic (0%) withdrawn (0%) hostile (0%) selfish (0%) unhappy (0%) unhelpful (0%) cynical (100%) needy (0%) unimaginative (0%) inane (0%) brash (0%) cruel (0%) ignorant (0%) irrational (0%) distant (0%) childish (0%) boastful (0%) blasé (0%) imperceptive (0%) chaotic (0%) impatient (0%) weak (0%) embarrassed (100%) loud (0%) vacuous (0%) panicky (0%) unethical (0%) insensitive (0%) self-satisfied (0%) passive (100%) smug (0%) rash (0%) dispassionate (0%) overdramatic (0%) dull (0%) predictable (0%) callous (0%) inattentive (0%) unreliable (0%) cold (0%) foolish (0%) humourless (0%)