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so i read, today, that you always knew you were gay. i've heard that everyone else always knew it too. god! what a fool i was.

i was naive then. i know it. but, if you knew it all along, why did you pressure me so? i stood up against you. i held my ground. but you left me feeling like i'd done something wrong. after you, i was weak. i didn't want to be hated again. i didn't want to be left alone again.

was it worth it, you last ditch effort for normalcy? i'm sure you don't care. always the egotist, you're your only concern.

and if you'd had your way, what difference would it have made? what you know now, you say knew then. i would not have been your first.

i guess i'm glad i never loved you or else it would hurt too much to hear this now. luckily, i knew enough to see you did not care for me then. still, i never imagined you were using me.

what a stupid game to play. what a careless thing to do. despite our relationship, i'd always thought you were a decent person, but, now, you've changed my mind.

maybe (hopefully!) you've changed since then, but i'm no longer interested in finding out.

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