and my new relationships. jesus. they're completely devoid of sincere interest. i'm just satisfying needs and so are they. it doesn't make me feel bad that they don't care. i don't care either.
i guess i'm all loved out.
so much for lofty ideals and great expectations.
sometimes i think they only way it could have worked was if i already had someone serious now. i don't have time these days for the little things and the rituals. i can't be bothered with the stupid games people play.
i'll be 25 when i graduate. i'll be working full-time until then. summers school and student teaching. i'm not ever going to have time for those games again.
and somehow i'm supposed to court and marry a guy so i can start popping out babies before i'm 30. right...
it's never going to happen. i have no doubt that i will settle out of fear after graduation. how depressing.