sWell (shakewell) wrote,

best friends for ever. friends for never. [miraasan]

we're both guilty. still in love with what we thought we knew (but didn't). we were never in love with who we really were.

i loved what i though you could be. i loathed what you became.

civil acquaintances aside, i don't see the point in trying to force an honest friendship where one never really existed in the first place. as always, my mind is open for anything. there's no telling what changes are yet to come. but there's no need to suffer the drama hanging on to the hope of a chance.

whatever will be will be.

you talk about still being friends like we used to be.

can we still be friends like we were when i admitted my sins and you lied to my face? or when you stole from me? can we hang on to what we were those nights that you cheated on me? do you really want to stay in a place where you take the most sacred and important aspect of my life and use it to hurt me out, just of spite?

gradually, you're coming around to the idea that i'm not who you thought i was. maybe someday you'll also see that neither of us was who we said we were or who the other imagined us to be.

we pretended to have a friendship then, because it was easier than telling the truth--to eachother and ourselves. it's always easier than the real thing.

risk nothing, lose nothing.

we can always be at that level of friendship then, if that's what you choose, but the real friendship, not the show. my life is all about honesty now and you can love it or leave it.

never again will i compromise who i am for who you think i should be.

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