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yom kippur

dear god,

i'm told today is the day that should i atone for my sins against you from the last year. first and foremost, i guess i'm sorry i don't believe in you. i suppose you can read the ambivalence in that statement. i'm sorry for that too. i really want to believe in you. i think my life would be a lot easier if i could. but (if you exist) you gave me a brain with synapses firing fully. hence, you've made it impossible for me to have any faith at all, especially in you. is this what you wanted? i don't want to believe in you if it is.

well, now i guess i'm sorry this letter isn't working out like i planned. i don't see how you can accept them (especially since i don't think you exist), but i'm just full of apologies today.

to be honest, i wouldn't have gotten so excited about yom kippur if i'd known it was all about you; i thought it was about righting wrongs against my fellow men. i figured this would be a good exercise in humiliation humility for me. but judaism 101 tells me i'm too late for that. so here's the blanket apology instead:

i'm sorry i'm not as sorry as everyone thinks i should be.

catch you next year (or not if you don't exist).

<3 - me.



( 3 comments — Say Something )
Oct. 12th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC)
thank you for writing what i've been trying to put into words for years.
Oct. 12th, 2005 09:50 pm (UTC)
ha! you're quite welcome. it's taken me quite some time as well.

and thank you for not tirading me about the "merits" of faith and religion.
Oct. 13th, 2005 05:57 am (UTC)
I remember having no school on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Had to love the Jersey public school system.

Happy Ramadan!
( 3 comments — Say Something )

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