sWell (shakewell) wrote,

yom kippur

dear god,

i'm told today is the day that should i atone for my sins against you from the last year. first and foremost, i guess i'm sorry i don't believe in you. i suppose you can read the ambivalence in that statement. i'm sorry for that too. i really want to believe in you. i think my life would be a lot easier if i could. but (if you exist) you gave me a brain with synapses firing fully. hence, you've made it impossible for me to have any faith at all, especially in you. is this what you wanted? i don't want to believe in you if it is.

well, now i guess i'm sorry this letter isn't working out like i planned. i don't see how you can accept them (especially since i don't think you exist), but i'm just full of apologies today.

to be honest, i wouldn't have gotten so excited about yom kippur if i'd known it was all about you; i thought it was about righting wrongs against my fellow men. i figured this would be a good exercise in humiliation humility for me. but judaism 101 tells me i'm too late for that. so here's the blanket apology instead:

i'm sorry i'm not as sorry as everyone thinks i should be.

catch you next year (or not if you don't exist).

<3 - me.
Tags: god

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