i'm endlessly setting the book aside to ponder such catches in my own life. additionally, i like to think of the names i would give to people i know if they were merely characters in the book of swell. but how can i compete with major major major major and colonel korn.
i try to imagine the interconnectedness of all my supporting characters so that i could detail the bizarre events and always come back to the baseline with some surprising coincidence that relates them all to one another. but i have no imagination for such developments. surely, they exist already, but, still, i cannot imagine them.
i sort of miss the days when i thought i was a writer. not because i thought i had a magnificent story to tell, but because i thought i could tell it anyway. i don't know what i think anymore. i get too caught up in the thought that no one really sees the words i write the way i mean them. fatalist, i know.
anyway, i wish i could sleep.