binary happiness

Oct. 29th, 2001 at 2:07 PM

things were pretty rough last night
a lot of shit hitting the fan
all at once

it's so easy to focus on the negative
i don't know why
but it always seems more important somehow
why should i care so much about anything people say
especially coming from people like them

i don't know why i care so much about anything
i seem to have this "all or nothing" personality
it's dragging me down though
i fail
and then i think my life is over
but i know better than that
or at least i should

i can try again
and again
if i have to
there's always tomorrow
right?

well
old habits are hard to break
i'm doing my best
but it's difficult to undo
a lifetime of abnormal behavior
i'll grow up
one of these days
there's always tomorrow
right...

anyway
thanks for your help

epiphany | heartspumpdust | jo3 | tiw

Feeling:lethargic
Hearing:Fatboy Slim - Kalifornia

Comments

( 10 comments — Say Something )

tonyvortex

Oct. 29th, 2001 01:14 pm (UTC)

that awkward smile we all share along with deep rooted fears and uncontrolled impulses from the brain,i know its not better to be a robot or anything but just imagine being twiggy from buck rogers for an hour...that would so suck.i try to remain positive but it gets so hard to concentrate and understand why people do so much but were all guilty of not undeerstanding each other and i ramble have no pint and such but wanted to say i know what you mean.tony

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shakewell

Oct. 29th, 2001 02:16 pm (UTC)

you're so right

i'm beginning to think i don't understand anything but it's reassuring to know i'm not the only one. i just wish i knew what to do to make things different. i feel so helpless sometimes - like everything i do is wrong. but i guess i just need to remember we're all a little lost and it takes both time and patience to make progress.

twiggy from buck rogers? i'm so lost.

thanks tony.

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tonyvortex

Oct. 29th, 2001 02:33 pm (UTC)

Re: you're so right

your welcome,i know you dont know me but i am here and i will listen.if you accept me as a friend maybe ill even send you some japanese spiderman episodes to make you laugh.

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shakewell

Oct. 29th, 2001 03:02 pm (UTC)

DEAL!!!

i'll take all the friends i can get, i'm not picky!! so what if i've never actually met you, that doesn't mean i can't get to know you!

and i'm down for some japanese spiderman - it sounds like a regular laugh riot! i don't know what i could send you in return though... i'll have to think about that!

=)

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tonyvortex

Oct. 29th, 2001 03:33 pm (UTC)

im curious where exactly carmel is in indiana,is it really that far from valparaiso,tony

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shakewell

Oct. 29th, 2001 04:11 pm (UTC)

carmel is just north of indianapolis (I-465 & US-31). i'm not exactly sure how far that is from valpo, but i'd say at least 2 hours - probably more. it looks like about 150 miles or so.

but my mighty geo metro can handle that - no sweat! lol. i'm always up for a road trip.

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tonyvortex

Oct. 29th, 2001 04:14 pm (UTC)

you should so come up here for a day,ill drive my geo as well.we can have a geo party in a grocery store parking lot.well sing and eat cheese and tell storys.

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shakewell

Oct. 29th, 2001 07:20 pm (UTC)

holy shit!

we'll have a goddamn geo parade! me and my brother used to do that - back when we lived in the same town. oh hells yeah, that will be great fun!

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tonyvortex

Oct. 29th, 2001 04:21 pm (UTC)

you should also get aol instant messanger it would make this so much smoother

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shakewell

Oct. 29th, 2001 07:17 pm (UTC)