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Sep. 5th, 2005

i've finally started recycling. you see, my apartment complex offers recycling bins, but they're over at the leasing office and they're not all clearly labeled. any of you that know me at all know that it doesn't take much to make me self-conscious. so, it's no surprise that having to sort my recyclables in front of my entire apartment complex is no easy task. however, with the recent influx of newspapers into my apartment (due to their free distribution on campus), i felt i could no longer stiffle my global responsibilities with my personal insecurities. therefore, once a week, i haul my recyclables across the complex in the middle of the night. obviously, i circumvented my insecurities more than over overcame them. still, i havn't quite figured the whole system out, yet. to be honest, i find it quite embarrassing that i can't figure out what bin to put what in, but, in my defense, it's pretty dark over there.

hey! i just found a place at which i can recycle all my old computer hardware and my cellphone.

by the way, you all need to be keeping the same cell phone as long as possible or at least recycling your old phones. the waste of consumerism in developing countries is financing civil war and killing mountain gorillas in the the congo. (read about it.)

xxx

i got one last lecture from kradams the other day. it's such a mass of inconsistencies, that it's not even worth examining here.

in any case, i'm just glad that, after several weeks of me not responding to her, she's finally taken the initiative to "delete [me] from [her] life and past." and, of course, she just had to send me one last message to announce that fact.

i'm glad i can examine other people's actions in order to better direct my own. i don't ever want to be so petty, so spiteful and, comparing this situation to the last, i think i've definitely made improvements in that department. kradams has made improvements too, but (at least from my, obviously biased, point of view) she's still got a way to go. however, i am impressed that she didn't tell me to go kill myself this time around.

xxx

paint_the_girl invited me to her daughter's first birthday party, last week, by way of late-night voice mail. i never called her back to say i wasn't coming. the situation left me quite uncomfortable.

as i've discussed here before, i'm not one to forgive and forget. and, certainly, i'm not one to just forget altogether. so, it just seemed incredibly odd to me to be invited to a party by a girl who swore she'd never talk to me again and who emphatically stated that i was forever dead to her and her family.

maybe she forgot. maybe she was going to apologize if she'd gotten me on the phone or once she'd gotten me to the party. i don't know. hell, maybe she was going to get me there and demand an apology from me. the only way to know is to talk to her, and i've yet to do that. (have i mentioned my fear of phone calls?)

you know, it just seems to me that, if during your last (probably one-sided) conversation with someone the words hate, death, or bitch were involved, the first words in your next conversation really have to be directly related to those first words--either in continuation or conciliation. there really is no one in this world for whom i would just outright forget such an outburst.

i should just call and see what she was thinking, but i'm in no mood to be yelled at again and i'm not entirely certain that i won't be.

xxx

i went to that russian party with my brother. at first it was really awkward--everyone else was russian and was speaking in russian--but it ended up being a pretty good time. none of those cats could dance, but they all danced all night and i completely respect that.

i decided it was best not to drink vodka with a bunch of russians. that was definitely the right decision. i did, however, drink german beer and, though it was warm, it was pretty good.

one thing i don't like, all those russians had like three names each. we went with paul, whose license plate said pahan and whose friends called him pasha. it was really confusing. maybe i need more names--a name, a nickname and an american name. hmmm...

xxx

other randomness...

...i think i have the flu
...i like not having to drive my car everyday
...i really don't think they should rebuild new orleans
...i bought a new vacuum--i don't think my old one worked at all
...i never knew shopping for pillows was such a complicated process
...my brother made me clean out my car the other day and i felt bad for not recycling the water bottles
...i really must washed dishes today

Comments

( 5 comments — Say Something )
gygaxis
Sep. 5th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
I want to track down a place to donate my phone to some leapfrogging nation outreach thing when it's gone. Cause really, it'll still be a perfectly good phone at that point. and I'd much rather have someone else reuse it than some random recycling company gross $3 off the raw materials of my phone.
harmony_bunny
Sep. 5th, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC)
phone calls!!!!!!!!! aughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
girl, i totally relate.

i am terrified, absolutely terrified, of phone calls. i almost never answer my cell phone, unless it's my husband.

last week, a guy called me about wanting to hang out with him and his wife, who used to kind of be my best friend in high school...they didn't come to the wedding, and there's a whole bunch of uncomfortable stuff going on there...i haven't called him back, and don't plan to. he can call me as many times as he wants, but i'm not answering.

(i also happen to be very self-conscious. i think we're very alike in some ways.)

:)
grae_
Sep. 5th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC)
I rarely answer my phone either, even if it's someone I really want to talk to.

I don't mind calling people, but fuck it if I want to be on call to everyone all of the time. Since when was it my social responsibility to be on call to the entire world 24x7? Fuck that - I answer my phone when I want to, the rest of the time everyone else can fuck off and wait.
dano_rocks
Sep. 6th, 2005 02:33 am (UTC)
Was this party in Pistol City??

I also found out that the Irish are terrible, terrible dancers. I dance better than a whole room full of em and i'm a fat white guy, so it made me look pretty smooth.
shakewell
Sep. 6th, 2005 02:36 am (UTC)
no, up here in indy. my bro is up here now.
( 5 comments — Say Something )

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