sWell (shakewell) wrote,

extreme update

(what's with everything being extreme these days? extreme bible school. extreme makeover. XXtreme body blinkers. chill the fuck out already.)

i spent the last couple of days in madison for troy courtney and bri purvis' wedding. things were pretty hectic. i must have gone to wal*mart half a dozen times. good grief. but i helped out as much as i could and had a pretty good time too.

i didn't cry during the ceremony. not even close. i've really lost faith in a lot of things over the last few years and my cynicism is overwhelming. it's not that i don't love the people in my life right now. but i really feel like my heart is broken in some irreparable way. i just can't seem to believe in things the way i used to. i've gone from hopeless romantic to just plain hopeless.

it's not as bad as all that really...

stewbot looked positively dashing in his tuxedo. he and i talked a lot about what our own wedding(s) might be like someday--what type of ceremony we'd have and who'd be our bridesmaids/groomsmen. of my three best female friends, one of them once told me i should kill myself and get it over with and the other two can't be within ten feet of one another without getting into a fistfight. needless to say, unless i get some new friends, i'm planning on a very small ceremony.

not that i'm really planning anything, of course, because i look like a man and no one ever has or ever will ever love me.

to be honest, i'm not particularly interested in sharing my wedding with anyone. i suppose my mother could probably guilt me into letting her be involved, but that would not be my choice.

besides, i find weddings to be colossal wastes of money, especially for most of the couples i've known. but for everyone really. i'm sure it's wonderful to have a beautiful gown and catered reception, but i'd just rather have something i actually needed and something more permanent.

that's just me. i don't know where i got the confounded hang-ups with money.

anyway, i had a great weekend. stewbot and i got troy and bri the best present they registered for and it was wrapped to perfection. i hope they enjoy using it as much as we enjoyed shopping for it.

i ran into my mom and my sister as we were driving out of town. it was nice to stop and chat, but i'm also really glad to know my mom is able to get out on her own a little bit now.

i missed like a thousand phone calls this weekend while my cell was dead and or misplaced, but practically no one left messages. i really hate that. just so you know, i never return calls without messages. i figure the lack of addendum indicates that they were completely unimportant.

well, i guess i'd better unpack before i get to used to seeing my bags in the hallway and they become permanent fixtures.

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