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i can't stand the waiting. not knowing. i want to call, no, i want to drive down. i need to know what's going on, but i'm afraid that if i push too much i'm going to be disappointed. maybe i'll be let down anyway, so it wouldn't matter if i went ahead and drove down.

i'm caught between having what i want and getting what i want. crap.

i miss the days when i didn't think about all this bullshit and we just went around having fun. what happened to that?

why can't i just take care of and appreciate something that i cherish so much? it's like i've got this terrible desire to try and make it better, when, really, it's the most wonderful thing i've ever experienced.

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