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what's up, doc?

well the first available doctor's apointment (for a new patient) is may fucking 16th! let's hope i don't die before then. (sweet! i just had another little heart-jobber. that makes about five today. grrr!)

anyway, thanks for all the support, advice and encouragement regarding my health issues. it feels good to talk about it with people, even if you are all hundreds of miles away.

i'm almost a full-fledged dialysis technician. next week is my last week of training and then i'm out on my own. ironically enough, today was the first day i encountered machine issues that i couldn't troubleshoot on my own. totally lame. it's really stupid they don't bother to train techs (or nurses) about the finer aspects of the machines. troubleshooting often becomes a gusesing game and that's not something i like to do when i'm responsible for someone's life. whatever, though. i'll figure it out i guess.

ben and pixylayne are going through some tough stuff with ayden right now. my first instinct was to call to let them know i'm thinking of them and would gladly help in any way i could, but i've yet to dial those digits. part of me doesn't want to call because i know i'm the last person they want to hear from. and part of me doesn't want to call because i know people get sick of those calls at times like this, because there's nothing anyone can really do for them. it's like trying to talk to someone's parents at a funeral; words can't change what happened. i dunno, maybe i'm just a jerk.

Comments

( 3 comments — Say Something )
stewbot
Apr. 8th, 2005 09:37 pm (UTC)
congrats again for landing such a tight job. thats hot that its going so well for you. i know all of your fans, including me, are really proud of ya.

thats a terrible thing that ben and jess are going through. i don't let most things get to me as long as its not me but that really breaks my heart
pixylayne
Apr. 9th, 2005 01:50 am (UTC)
thanx
stewbot,

thanks for your thoughts man. its been a really rough time lately but all the support we've had has made it somewhat easier or at least as easy as it could be. even though we don't talk as much anymore thank you for caring about my family. it means a lot to me man. if your ever in town look me up man.

peace out.


-ben-
pixylayne
Apr. 9th, 2005 01:47 am (UTC)
thanx
amanda,

we may not have been talking much as of these past few months but knowing that you guys are still out there somewhere really does mean the world to us. its been the worst pain and wondering in my life thinking something like that could happen but we've had a lot of support and its really made us feel blessed. you may not of called but you thought about us and thats what really matters most. again thank you for your thoughts and for caring it does mean something.

peace out.

-ben & jess-
( 3 comments — Say Something )

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