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today was my first day of classroom training. i had to be in to work an hour earlier than normal, but my educator was so completely unprepared that we started an hour late anyway. that's one.

she proceeded to lecture on customer service and the histories of fresenius and dialysis in general. i'm not sure she finished one complete sentence at all. that's two.

after lunch she was chewing gum while lecturing. i've never realized how completely distracting that is (probably because i've never seen a teacher do it before). that's three.

and to top it all off, she's amish or mennonite or quaker or something, but she's got a nicer cell phone, car and computer (a bitchin' laptop) than me. that's it.

heh. i'm just bitching. none of it really matters. but i do find it comical that she lectured on professionalism the day she showed up late and unprepared. ops!

one of my classmates, veronica, has this nasty habit of digging around in her ear while she talks to me. today, during lecture, she was digging so furiously that i could actually hear the suction-y sound of her finger in her waxy ear canal. i wanted to vomit all over her face.

my other classmate, danyell, can't stand it when people mispronouce or forget her name (which happens quite frequently). but instead of telling people they got it wrong, she just ignores them or turns to veronica and says "who!?" classic passive agressive behavior. too cool.

speaking of names, this idiot tech told me a few days ago that she gave all us new techs nicknames to help her keep us straight. danny, ronnie and mandy. i straight up told her that i hate the name mandy with a passion and i would be offended if she called me that. she did it anyway. so i told her again. i'm sure she won't change, but, SHIT!, if you can remember mandy i don't understand how you can't remember amanda. everyone, EVERYONE, knows that mandy is short of amanda. how hard is that?

i feel like i've written about this before. whatever.

i've been pondering our little group dynamic in our training class. danyell is passive all the time and veronica is obviously alpha-type aggressive. i find i'm passive a lot of the time, because it just doesn't matter. but when it comes to my performance or my education i'm generally assertive. perhaps, though, i'm passive aggressive at times. i try to get veronica to buy into the idea that we need to do something over without actually saying that's what i want.

i guess that's shitty and manipulative, but there are times when i don't think veronica would compromise if i were just assertive. and i know she wouldn't take it if i were agressive.

is it better to manipulate people and get things done or is it better to start a fight and not get things done?

some psychologist said people should never be a means to an end. he's right, of course, but i'm not sure i have the ability to change veronica effectively in a timely manner. moreover, i'm not equipped to do so and it's not my responsibility.

the moral of the story: i hate group work and i have passive-aggressive tendencies (but i do get the job done right).

so, anyway, we may not be trained in our clinic as we had hoped. my preceptor was the only one that took the class and our trainer wants to keep our group together, so we're going to have to go to the downtown facility. i am not excited about this. as noted above, my interpersonal skills are lacking and i have a hard time dealing with new people. add to that a new facility with new machines and new patients and disaster is imminent.

ok, not really. i'm pessimistic as all hell, but i'm intelligent and entirely capable. but safety and security are only the second tier on maslow's hierarchy of needs, so all this unneccessary new stuff throws my whole life off-kilter. fresenius should know that's no good for me.

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