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last night i dreamed that i was at work and i had to be dialized between my patients. since i've never been dialized, it just felt like when i donated plasma. at the end, i got the cold, tingling sensation when they pump in the saline. (they actually don't do that for dialysis patients.)

anyway, in the midst of that tingling, i woke up a little. i was just conscious enough to realize i was still in that paralized state of dream sleep. and then i got caught up in that low blood pressure feeling (nearly passing out). it was a very weird thing to experience while sleeping.

xxx

i started my hepatitis b vaccination today. even with all the techs and nurses telling me how bad it would hurt, the shot didn't bother me in the least. i even watched the whole time.

i find it odd that i have such control over physical pain, and so little control over the emotional.

i feel i'm so abnormal in that respect.

xxx

my japanese teacher called me out several times in class today. i wish i had more time to devote to my sutdies. at this point, i'm lucky to get my homework. anyway, he made a fool of me and it sucked. he also discussed the mistakes i made on my test in front of the whole class. i can't begin to describe how uncomfortable that made me.

also, someone helped me cheat on my quiz and i didn't even ask them too. i'm declaring this boy my valentine this year (since i forgot to get a boyfriend again). i will shower him with gifts and affection!

i want to make cupcakes this weekend. anyone want to help?

xxx

lent begins tomorrow and, although i'm not catholic, i'm going to participate this year. lent is a season of soul-searching and repentance. it is a season for reflection and taking stock.

i have a greater purpose in mind for all this, but i'll leave it unsaid.

and to keep it always on my mind, i'll be 'fasting.' it's not really a christian fast. i'm giving up meat (not fish) and all beverages except water (a devious trick to lick my caffienne habit). so, everyday, when i want something i can't have, i'll have to think about why. it's going to be 40 days with 3 meals a day forcing me to remember my motivation.

though, i sure am going to eat a lot of crab rangoon and popcorn shrimp!

i guess they don't count sundays into lent (when it starts on ash wednesday), but i'm just going to go straight through to march 25.

Comments

( 3 comments — Say Something )
san_yo
Feb. 9th, 2005 04:08 pm (UTC)
that's awesome your participating and choosing to not eat meat unless it's seafood. and what's even more great, to me, is your doing despite the fact that your not catholic. kudos to you.
spk1121
Feb. 16th, 2005 02:51 pm (UTC)
Lent
i started my hepatitis b vaccination today. even with all the techs and nurses telling me how bad it would hurt, the shot didn't bother me in the least. i even watched the whole time.
Heh. I've done that a couple times when giving blood. I've been into surgery enough that needles don't really faze me anymore, so the nurses are amazed when I say I'll watch what they're doing.

lent is a season of soul-searching and repentance. it is a season for reflection and taking stock... I'll be 'fasting.'
I admire that you're trying that. How's it working out so far?
shakewell
Feb. 16th, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Lent
swimmingly. it's easy not to eat and drink the stuff.

the hard part is the thinking. because i do always catch myself going to order coke and a burger for lunch and i have to think about why i can't eat and drink them. the thinking part is pretty tough.
( 3 comments — Say Something )

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