December 20th, 2006

my blue giftmas

even cowgirls get the blues

i dunno...

sometimes i just can't find the motivation to do anything at all.

i took off work today. i don't know why. i mean, i know i don't want to be there, but it's really not that bad. besides, is there anywhere i've ever really wanted to be?

had a date tonight, but got stood up. "spaced" is actually the term he used. forgettable. great. thanks for enlightening me.

somedays, i think about suicide, but i figure christmastime would be pretty much the worst time to put my parents through such a mess.

not that there's ever a good time.

and not that i'm really all that upset about anything in particular these days. i think it's just that between all the babies and weddings and graduations and promotions i'm feeling pretty useless. and i should be. but even that feeling can't motivate me to do something productive. instead, it motivates me to call into work and sit on the couch all day.

seriously, what the fuck?

anyway...

there you have it. again.