September 17th, 2005

broken wings

why i was angry OR when am i ever happy?

so, like i said, the faint put on an awesome show. they went on 25 minutes late at 11:25 and finished sometime around 1:00 maybe. there was a little break and a sweet encore, but i wish they would stayed on longer.

there were some drunk-ass girls dancing next to me. they were just freaking on everyone around them and bumping into themselves and everyone else too. this one bitch thought it was so hilarious to whip her long, ratty hair around in everyone's faces. yeah, i used to do that when i was 8. it's not so cool these days.

on the other side, there was a group of 3 or 4 people who were something else besides drunk, maybe rolling. this one dude was just having the time of his life, but he was jumping around and bumping into people too. one of his friends was sort of spotting him and trying to keep him from straying to far away. but i guess whenever anyone gave him a shitty look or said something his other friend (a scary fat girl) would yell something like "he can fucking dance if he wants to. they can get the fuck of the floor."

and, as always, directly in front of me there was a nice crowd of guys all over 6 feet tall.

on the plus side, toward the end of the night, my brother and i met this crazy, loud girl who was like a cuter, funnier megan pease(sp?). while we were talking to her, some girl bumped into her as she walked past. so, megan v.2 yelled, "that's my fucking purse, bitch!" i thought that was grand. as we were leaving, she fell on her ass in the doorway right in front of me. i helped her up and told her i loved her. she said, "rock and fucking roll, baby!"

after the show, paul the russian wanted us all to go to landsharks. he's all about that place. none of the rest of us (eli, me, stewbot) had ever been and we also didn't have cash for the cover. they were playing hip hop as we scoped it out from the sidewalk, so we convinced paul to come up to vapour with us.

now, by this time, i'd already called/texted menlie like 3 times to see if she was still up there. she didn't answer, so i thought things must really be bumpin'. fuck no. we got there around 1:15 and discovered that almost everyone i know was gone (geek, chris and slater were still there) AND they'd made last call early and were shutting the shit down. i can't tell you how disappointing that was, especially since i'd been excited to show paul what good music was.

yeah, speaking of paul, i guess eli and stewbot decided that he was a little to into me, so, after vapour, they told him i had an early class and was going home instead of heading up to eli's place in lebanon.

you know, i wish there was a way that people could see the reasons that they will eventually have to hate me when they first meet me so i could just skip all this infatuation crap with everyone. it's getting so old.

i came home and discovered a)i'd forgotten to take my birth control, b)i had a bitchin' sore throat so i threw up when i tried (for some unknown reason) to swallow it without water and c)the pill wasn't one of the blue ones like i first thought, but was a stupid green placebo so i didn't even need to take it.


i like giving my entries two titles: one for people who like to know what i'm talking about and one for people who like to tell me what i said.
comic sans

waking up is hard to do OR subterranean homesick blues

police detective, al pacino - prisoner, 2 folders, officer misconduct, slow to wake up, case of the missing headboard as evidenced by the pillows on the floor, pacino tells me the headboard is in the kitchen. the phone call, two names (kyle), put cigars out in styrofoam cups of water before entering courthouse, pacino and i sit 10 rows back, the woman (the first name given in the phone call) busts in like the cool aid man and waves a gun, everyone ducks, i can't fit down between the pews, the man across the aisle sits still, he's the old man who tried to save a turkey in one of the thanksgiving ER episodes, woman says the second name, old man points to kyle sitting next to him and raises his hand, kyle gets up reluctantly like he accidentally won some dorky award at a school convocation (no fear), he looks like my cousin scotty ten years ago, other people start to sit up, a few steps up the aisle the woman empties her revolver into kyle's chest, the old man doesn't budge and is covered in blood.

later i'm andy griffith, i get the phone call again, i remember everything that happened before, i try to tell the judge but the think i'm either crazy or plotting something, they won't cancel the trial, i go home, the house is one huge room with a tiny un-walled loft, the kitchen is up half a story, the island counter is fronted with urinals instead of cabinets, meadow's black boyfriend noah(?)(from the sopranos) lives in the loft, i know if i can change something i can stop what happens in the courtroom but i can't do it directly at all, noah's girlfriend lives in the country and is waiting to learn to drive, the family car has no windows and it's going to rain, i plead with her parents to teach her anyway just for a few minutes, they think i'm nuts, she runs over to see noah, they roll around in the hay in his loft, they fight over something, noah has the revolver under his bed, he makes her cry so she'll leave, i start to climb the ladder to the loft, a policeman knocks at the front door, i want to get the gun from noah but i know i have to answer the door, indecision, noah "are you going to get the door", officer "it's raining pretty hard out here, andy", it never rained at all that day, noah "my mother was a police officer too. shot in the line...", as i'm plagued by indecision i get some nasty effexor-type sharp headaches and the groceries begin dispensing out of automatic pop-up apparatuses in the shelves, uncle ben's rice, officer "your house is falling apart out here", i notice some ice cream cone fixin's, "she only made one", it's different than when it happened before, i hope it's enough and answer the front door...time skips ahead, see her prom, her friend borrows a jacket from the valet, valet = old man from courtroom, prom is at fancy hotel.

color guard, ambulances not school buses, icy roads, locked up front wheels, columbus north, lit up like ski slopes no ice/snow in sight, we get ready in a hotel lobby (same hotel from before), tina hardin wearing like 10 pairs of earrings and asking me to choose, i borrow two seashell ones (mismatched) and see one of the seahorses my grandma gave me in the pile, angela hamilton and jennifer carpanini have tina put some on them too, tina "it isn't fair i have to worry about earrings and panty lines and being on my period too", i go to the bathroom, emily warren hands me toilet paper and gives some bizarre movie reference while she does it, another band is selling cookies in the bathroom, stewie (family guy) discusses his role in the show with one of the band moms (actually jessica gray's mom), outside i distribute sabers and accidentally instruct guard to start spinning before spencer-pierce is there, mrs. gray runs into the guard to step on buggsy, she says "aren't you proud? last time i let him in."

there was another dream before all these. seeing this icon reminded me. very old fashioned (40s?), daring and sneaky escape past detectives, don't remember if i was a criminal, detective or regular citizen this time.
blurred horizon

keeping the dream alive OR nothing but rest for the wicked

went back to bed...

marching band competition, drum majors amanda robbins-meyers and this old dude from my environmental geology lab, color guard encore, kasy frazier flag solo, flags on the field, sabers in the end zone

i remembered the lyrics to the song for a while, but then i got caught up in some other things...

"i ain't, i ain't yo baby daddy..." to the tune of "hood rat, hood rat, hoochie mama..."

i dreamed about being in the army with mathew perry, tom boone and (i think) amanda robbins-meyers as my drill sergeant. we played a lot of softball and matthew perry brought tom boone up on some charges over eavesdropping on amanda's podcast.

menlie let me listen to her ipod which was actually a nintendo revolution controller

i dreamed an editorial meeting of the mchs underground. mr jones was there and that's the first time i ever dreamed that someone who is dead was still alive. he was always in the same pose and same clothes as in the picture i took of him on the train in d.c.

during my morning commute, i tried to hire my school bus driver to take the underground staff on a field trip.

i went to the recycling center in madison to find crates to keep my records in. everything was mirrored across the north-south axis. driving toward me on the highway was a man dressed as an arab (very world police) and waving his arms and his rifle in his jeep. i shot him because i thought he was a terrorist, but he was an undercover marine. after that, maybe i died too. i was floating into the building. i could feel the change in temperature as i crossed the threshold (so hot!). everything was shut down. cheech marin was whittling with another mexican and amy lewis was sitting on a picnic table. they talked about how they weren't going to make the regatta rugs this year because the weaving pattern was too complicated (at least that's what cheech though after taking one semester of basket weaving). all the old rugs were hanging up on the wall. they were the size of license plates and looked like pre-school craft projects. a fatter, younger pedro walked up dragging a mariachi guitar. he told amy he got a gardening job for $5/hr. she said that was good because she could only afford to pay him $3/hr. she counted out $9 and stacked it between her straddled legs on the table. then she poured out four lines of coke/meth. she had my wallet. she got out another dollar and said "if you're very good..." before he snorted the third line, he exhaled and blew powder all over amy's jeans. she rolled up the dollar and he used it to snort it off her crotch.