it's the juice that makes it juicy

i deposited my first paycheck from the 'x today. and since it had been over two months since i deposited my last paycheck, i'd forgotten that i'd been putting money from each check away for ayden.

so, in honor of ben's visit to indy today and in light of my now being dead to him, i took all that money out and spent it!

i got some good little gifts for a couple of friends and i also bought some cute things for myself. i finally got a pair of fucking sunglasses too (thank god!).

i saw a lot of cute things that i would have loved to have bought for ayden, but that's not my place anymore. so, i just bought some snazzy, dressy stuff for me instead.

i think i could really get into fashion. who ever thought i would be out shopping for skirts and heels? certainly not me. but it sure does feel good to look good.

it also feels good--really good--to not apologize for not doing anything wrong.

XXX

sometimes, i really fucking love mall muzak. it gets me SO pumped.

probably too pumped. heh.

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much love.

oh yeah!

those sun glasses...

so big.

bigger than biglots big.

HUGE!

just the way i like them.

you may be older, but are you wiser?

if you died tomorrow, what would you leave behind?
how would you be remembered?

can anyone, besides yourself, see that you've changed at all?

i've always known that my hadwriting left much to be desired. (penmanship marks were actually the only bad grades i ever got in pre-madison elementary school.) but now i'm 21 and someday i hope to be a mom and i guess i'm just a little sad that my penmanship hasn't improved much, if at all, over the years.

i'm not even sure if practice would change anything now.

my poor kids are going to have to deal with their school thinking they forged notes all the time. i can see it now.

i really just wish i could write nicely for things like letters and cards. cursive is out. and i think my printing suffers with the fear of ruining these cards and letters. sigh...

still, i'm glad these types of problems seem to be my biggest concerns in life.

(and, me0wkp, i'm sorry your card looks like crap now. lol. it was very lovely before i got my hands on it.)

i look so much more tan
yet still so pale

=)

also, on a related note, i like when people (like tanning specialists!) actually know what the fuck they are talking about.

on a vaguely related note, i can't wait for summer.

EDIT:

i find it strange that i can still see my tan lines from last summer, especially since i layed out exactly two times and for no more than five hours total.

i was boiling some eggs, and i just KNEW i would forget about them. i checked the clock before i left the kitchen (6:53) and swore i would check the clock in my room as soon as i got there.

but i sat down at my computer and, out of habit, checked livejournal and my email. then i started looking through some pictures. then i went through all of my pictures to decide which ones to hang on my wall.

when i finished that, i thought "damn i'm hungry."

then i remembered the eggs.

christ. i swear to god i'm going to end up burning down the house someday. i should probably make a point to just stay in the kitchen whenever i am cooking or, at least, set the timer.

ugh.