and then there was sleep.

it was the first time in a long time that i went to bed without futurama. no one to spoon with. no warm, fuzzy jammies. just me. total darkness and total silence.

i didn't actually expect to fall asleep when i went to bed. i didn't even feel drowsy anymore. i was excited. anxious. curious. so, i just lay* down to think. i searched my memories for stories to tell. i tried to think of new and unique xmas plans. i made collages with my imagination.

*irregular verbs can go suck a dick, by the way

for once, i wasn't frantically reaching for sleep. so, it came to me quickly. the numbness washed over me. i felt it creep up from my toes. it poured down over my face. it crawled up from my fingertips. and for a minute, i just listened to my heart beat and gradually calm down.

i had some amazing, amazing dreams. had to hit the snooze button so that i could appreciate them just a little while longer before they vanished into the morning fog.

i'd give anything to sleep like that every night.

xxx

two dudes got fired from the x. i find it hilarious, since i have such a horrible attendance problem and they showed up everyday. i guess my killer work ethic more than makes up for that though. they've never even mentioned that i'm thin ice over absences. suckers.

i remembered today that i'll get some tuition reimbursement monies from the x eventually. ahhh... free money. thank god.

today is my last day of class. i am so excited that i probably will not go. class is for jerks.

i need to start speaking more japanese at home again. i've gotten for to out of practice in the last couple of weeks. i really wish i had more friends who were also learning it this year. i just want to hang out and talk japanese for as long as i can. i'm writing letters to opiate, but it's not the same. good practice, but not the same.

and, now, i think i'll slip into something a little more comfortable. [my nasa approved sweedish sleep sytem. har. har.]