but, i must. and i will because there's a beauty in that as well. in learning and growing. in facing the challenge. in keeping promises.
i don't know what happened to me. this isn't like anything i've ever known before. even when i try to calm myself by thinking about the "what ifs" of the future, i can't be pessimistic. no wait. i can be pessimistic, but it doesn't overwhelm me with negativity. i think "yeah, shit happens. i'll deal."
i've been waiting so long for this.