sWell (shakewell) wrote,

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something has changed.

i'd like to make up for all the laying out i didn't do this summer by wallowing out in this amazing weather. i tried to do my homework outside, but i was much too distracted. i just wanted to sit there and soak it all in. i felt so calm, at peace. it seemed like a sin to do statistics.

but, i must. and i will because there's a beauty in that as well. in learning and growing. in facing the challenge. in keeping promises.

i don't know what happened to me. this isn't like anything i've ever known before. even when i try to calm myself by thinking about the "what ifs" of the future, i can't be pessimistic. no wait. i can be pessimistic, but it doesn't overwhelm me with negativity. i think "yeah, shit happens. i'll deal."

i've been waiting so long for this.
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