sWell (shakewell) wrote,
sWell
shakewell

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a thousand reflections in a carnival hall of mirrors

always with the "terrible mother" bullshit

i did not say a fucking thing about how she is raising ayden at this moment. i didn't even say if she didn't change it would make her a terrible mother or person in the future.

all i said is that i hoped she would change. and i still hope she does. why perpetuate bad behavior when you have the opportunity to change it? why allow your children to see you be hateful to anyone?

ayden was the first child of friends that i had ever known, so he is very important to me. regardless of whether or not ben and pixylayne allow me to be a part of his life, i am still very interested in his life. i am very uninterested in watching his parents make careless mistakes.

but i don't impose my opinions on them. i don't harass them by telling them what i think they should do. i don't tell them they should read my journal because i think i've got important views on their situation. they read of their own volition. i choose to write my private thoughts in a public forum. they choose to pay attention.

i am truly sorry they cannot accept my right to hold an opinion on whatever i see fit and my right to speak my mind wherever i choose. i respect theirs. i allow their comments. i welcome them.

but they don't comment on the things i write per se. the comment on the character they have made me. and they transform my writings to fit the part.

jo3 always assumes that i hate him. (oh, i wish that i could!)
fa1ry_g1rl always assumes that i want ben. (i don't.)
pixylayne always assumes that i think she's a bad mother. (i never have.)

but none of those things are true. and i have never said or written them (except perhaps for hating joe, though i did not mean it). but, again and again, they come up in our conversations because that is all they will allow themselves to see. those lies make it easier for them to excuse the terrible things they do.

but that's just my opinion. and if they hate me so much, why do they keep giving it so much weight?
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