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always with the "terrible mother" bullshit

i did not say a fucking thing about how she is raising ayden at this moment. i didn't even say if she didn't change it would make her a terrible mother or person in the future.

all i said is that i hoped she would change. and i still hope she does. why perpetuate bad behavior when you have the opportunity to change it? why allow your children to see you be hateful to anyone?

ayden was the first child of friends that i had ever known, so he is very important to me. regardless of whether or not ben and pixylayne allow me to be a part of his life, i am still very interested in his life. i am very uninterested in watching his parents make careless mistakes.

but i don't impose my opinions on them. i don't harass them by telling them what i think they should do. i don't tell them they should read my journal because i think i've got important views on their situation. they read of their own volition. i choose to write my private thoughts in a public forum. they choose to pay attention.

i am truly sorry they cannot accept my right to hold an opinion on whatever i see fit and my right to speak my mind wherever i choose. i respect theirs. i allow their comments. i welcome them.

but they don't comment on the things i write per se. the comment on the character they have made me. and they transform my writings to fit the part.

jo3 always assumes that i hate him. (oh, i wish that i could!)
fa1ry_g1rl always assumes that i want ben. (i don't.)
pixylayne always assumes that i think she's a bad mother. (i never have.)

but none of those things are true. and i have never said or written them (except perhaps for hating joe, though i did not mean it). but, again and again, they come up in our conversations because that is all they will allow themselves to see. those lies make it easier for them to excuse the terrible things they do.

but that's just my opinion. and if they hate me so much, why do they keep giving it so much weight?

Comments

( 3 comments — Say Something )
pixylayne
Sep. 22nd, 2004 12:05 pm (UTC)
i am still very interested his life
you are so wierd it is scary.

Now that is about the meanest thing I think I have said to you in a long time.

This is the only comment you are going to get out of me, and the only reason for that is because you can't keep a story straight. Me telling you that you would be happier if you tried letting go was not mean, and it is rather amusing that you somehow once again connected that with me "saying mean things to and around my children"
the message I sent you last night....("I deleted it because it was a comment for you. not everyone. I know it goes to most people's emails Amanda. that is what I was shooting for. youre funny tho. criticizing once again my ability to raise my children when you do not even know me or my family and how things are.")
I did not say you were calling me a bad mom. I was simply stating the fact that you thinking you know what I say and how I act is too, rather amusing. you do not know me and you never have. you and I did not click as friends and that is that. no hard feelings.
shakewell
Sep. 22nd, 2004 01:59 pm (UTC)
and you, of course, have all the information.
i didn't say i thought that from the messages you sent to me. you really think you do behind people's backs doesn't get back to them?
shakewell
Sep. 22nd, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)
in fact, that's how this all started
you can hide all you tracks, jess, but it won't change what you did.

so why not just make the smart decision and not perpetuate these childish behaviors in the first place? then you won't have to pretend or lie about something still fresh in peoples' minds. they don't forget things simply because they aren't there anymore.

and do you really think the way you treat any one person in your life (a bank teller, your ex-boyfriend, whatever) doesn't reflect what kind person you are at your core? do you think ayden would think it was ok for you to demean a grocery store clerk so long as you were still nice to him? i doubt very much that you are capable of so highly compartmentalizing your life that your children will never witness you exhibiting any bad behavior.

but, hey, if you are, congratulations! you're completely two-faced. be proud. (ha!)
( 3 comments — Say Something )

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