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:::new year's resolutions:::

- drink often and heavily
- stop telling people what i think
- start telling people what i know they want to hear
- lose 23 pounds
- eat once a day
- stop buying presents for people who don't talk to me anymore
- get a job
- tell my parents i'm never going to go to school
- move out of my parents' house
- stop telling people when i cut myeslf
- start running again
- learn to act happy so people won't be so 'concerned'
- limit the time i spend on-line
- give up on love
- pay back the money i owe my parents and brother
- stop wearing my seatbelt
- try one last time to tell him i'm sorry
- do all the drugs i swore i'd never do
- stop making web pages & on-line journals
- stop stalking people
- let go of the past


Dec. 28th, 2001 09:58 am (UTC)
So, Christmas is over and I can breathe again. I'm coming home in Feb. sometime. I hope the first or second week. Probably the first if things go as planned. Dont give up on love, caue then you forget about me and that sucks. Love sucks. But then, without there's no us. That sucks even more. I love you. For whatever that's worth it'll last forever.
Dec. 28th, 2001 01:07 pm (UTC)
well i am glad you're not dead afterall
i swear to god that if you don't come home in february i will come down there just to punch you in the stomach. i'd like to come down sooner maybe. just to say hello or something. i need hugs.

i don't want to give up on love (cuz god knows i'm a sucker for all that sappy emo bullshit) but i'm pretty sure love gave up on me around the time my ex-boyfriends started running away from me and i started stalking people. it just seems like the right things to do. and i don't want to give up on you either, but, jeezz...., when was the last time i saw you? that time i dropped you off in the alley behind your house.

forever doesn't seem that far...

i love you too, eli, for whatever that's worth. i'll try not to let it turn into the kind of love i'm so good at. you know, the kind where i hurt you everyday without even knowing...


i need to get out of this place.

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