sWell (shakewell) wrote,

  • Mood:

america's rockin' roller coast

cedar point was even more fabulous than i had expected. i'd really like to make an annual event of the trip and stay at the park for a day or two each summer.

top thrill dragster:
A+ for concept
D for line/ride length ratio

this was the first ride of the day. it broke down while we were in line, but we stood our ground. spooge and stewbot rode in the very front and i think that probably made it ride at least 10 (if not 100) times more exhilarating. although a relatively short-lived it was well worth the wait. honestly, it's unlike any other coaster you'll probably ever ride in your life. you spend the first second or two thinking "wow, this acceleration is madness!" and then after another second you think "holy shit! i'm still accelerating!" and then the next second you realize you're going 120 mph and its just nuts! from there on out it's negative g's and a SPECTACULAR view. very, VERY impressive. as an added bonus, sometimes the train doesn't make it over the apex of the hill and you get to zoom back down to be relaunched. that didn't happen to any of us, but we watched it happen a couple times. i envy those lucky bastards. cool feature: they take a pictures during both the ascent and the decent of the ride, so you can make to crazy faces for the price of one!

millennium force:
A for concept
A+ for bang for your buck-ness

this was probably the best ride of the day. it was formerly the tallest and fastest (in the universe haha!)so it's hardly boring. and it's about 15 times as long as the top thrill dragster experience so it gets definite bonus points for that. it's a nice and smooth, steel coaster that also offers an excellent view of lake erie as you creep up the first hill. in retrospect, i would have liked to have ridden (rode?) this coaster again, but i really wanted to check out as many different coasters as possible at the time.

mean streak:
C for concept (wood is so 1950!)
F for ridability

i barely like the beast (and i always get a headache) and i can't bear the son of beast, so i don't know why i thought i'd like this wooden coaster. i mean, it IS a good coaster--it's tall and fast and long--but it just kills my head with all that j-jerk-jerking.

cedar creek mine ride:
F's all around
that fat kid said it best: "this ride is weak." we were hoping it would turn out like the adventure express at king's island, but we were sorely disappointed. cowboy skeletons with their skeleton horse and whiskey still couldn't pull this ride out of the trash.

the mantis:
B for concept
A+++ for the duckies
C for ridability

shortly after walking away from this coaster, i remembered that i enjoy stand-up coasters only slightly more than i enjoy wooden coasters. i spent most of the ride trying to keep my head up above the harness so my ears weren't being pummeled between the shoulder restraints. still, it was a smooth ride and decently long. and i think it had some nice twists or corkscrews or something. i can't be bothered to remember, because i will never ride it again (for the sake of my sensitive ears).

magnum xl-200:
A+ for everything!
this was the one coaster we got a freeway pass for, but it turns out the line wasn't all that long anyway. the magnum is a stell coaster designed without any crazy loops or twists so that all patrons can enjoy the ride together. i know, sounds boring, but i think this is my favorite coaster so far. it goes right over the water park and the beach so you get a pretty unique view and it also has three different tunnels to make the ride more interesting. it's really neat being in absolute darkenss and feeling the coaster just drop out from under you. the fog in the end was great too!

ripcord skycoaster:
A for concept
C for execution (apparently there's one twice as tall in florida)
F for price

this is one of those contraptions where one to three people suit up in a harness and swing beneath a 150-ft arch. it was pretty cool, but i'd never do it again. well, i'd never pay for it again. and, i actually think the slingshot at king's island is much more fun.

go kart grand prix:
A- for cost
B for duration
a big fat FU for the tool who wouldn't let me ride without my ID

alex and i couldn't participate in this event since we didn't have our IDs with us. (and curse my foresight and terrible forgetfulness for leaving my ID in my jacket pocket saturday morning and thinking "god, i better take that out of there or i'm going to wind up somewhere like a bar or something without it.") at first the ride attendant said we could, but then he switched positions with some DICK who totally denied us. spooge, stewbot, opiate and killbot all raced together and then stewbot and spooge at a rematch. stewbot was sporting some excellent driving skills, but he was also out there actin' a fool. spooge was much more intense. opiate and killbot were lagging in the rear most of the time, but it still seemed like a pretty good race.

power tower
A for concept
C for execution

this ride has an option to launch you up or drop you down (like drop zone). we wanted to drop first since some people had never ridden drop zone, but the line for that was longer and we were running out of time. so we launched and it was alright, but it was nothing like getting launched for top thrill dragster, so it left you wanting more. also, it wasn't tall enough at all. it did, however, offer an excellent view of the park at night. very pretty.

terror teleporter
a.k.a terrazona
a.k.a transamazonia
a.k.a disaster transport

A for concept
A+ for 3-D glasses
A+ for entertaining line queue (probably a D- without the glasses)
F-- for execution

this was an outer limits (or universal's et) style ride complete with alien theme. the actual ride and the scenery inside left MUCH to be desired, but we had a great time with our glasses while standing in line. it seemed really short too, but i dunno.

overall, i give cedar point a super-double-fan-fucking-tastic-glitter-A+. The park is bigger, cleaner, more well-planned, better staffed and prettier than any other park i've ever been too. to top it off, i don't think we waited more than 90 minutes in any line, except top thrill dragster (because it broke down). and even though we didn't get to use them, i appreciate the idea of the freeway passes (get your hand stamped, then come back and cut in line at a later reserved time). also, they had those bitchin' Xcellerator hand dryers.

some things to consider if you plan to attend cedar point:
*bring cash
*bring food and/or eat before you come if you don't eat meat
*bring a photo ID with your birth date on it for the go karts
*do not bring a purse/bag (you aren't even allowed to take it in line)
*eat/pee/etc. with the rest of your group--save time, eliminate complaints
*walk fast (you can rest in line!)

1000 points to spooge for having a birthday
500 points each to stewbot and opiate for driving their cars
500 points to stewbot for having a radar detector
100 points each to me, stewbot and killbot for bringing cash
100 points to spooge for driving opiate's car fast
100 points to stewbot for his battle wound
10 points to killbot for bandaiding his glasses back together
-4 each from surjay and cope for not going with four hours notice
-666 points from chuwie for not going (despite being the first to be invited)
-69420 points from alex for driving me nuts (if i start on this, i'm not sure i can stop)

also, 1,000,000 points to me for having this great idea!

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.