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you're right. it was a waste. it has all been a waste.

i feel like i've wasted an entire lifetime and, in a way, i have. down that road, i was a different me. now i've backtracked and started anew. that life is gone and it's never coming back.

i can't believe that after all that i've done, i still have to beg for your time/energy/interest/gratitude/respect.

but what i really can't believe is that i actually beg you for anything.

i don't expect you to understand. to learn. to change. to grow.

the only thing i expect now is disappoinment and i am never disappointed in that.

someday, i'll probably wonder what it said, but not today. i'm sure i know. i'm sure it's all the same old lines. it probably filled with the same excuses you used when you were jerking my chain this time last year.

i don't know why you bothered to say anything at all after saying it would be a waste. you faith in me or you or us is depressing, despite what you claim to believe/feel.

twenty-two days is too long.

Comments

( 3 comments — Say Something )
fallennothing
May. 7th, 2004 06:51 am (UTC)
*hug*
exnoctemnacimur
May. 7th, 2004 09:30 am (UTC)
::pinch on the cheek, and a big retarded smile::
stewbot
May. 7th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
if anyone learned anything, its not such a waste. and if nothing was learned, then at least you learned it won't work out. i admire the things you've done with you life thus far. i wish i could be where you are in your life right now. hopefully you dont think our time was a waste. i know it wasn't for me but i can only speak for myself. cheer up buckaroo, next time you think you've wasted you life, just think of my life.
( 3 comments — Say Something )

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