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i'd love to love you, baby

it's becoming quite apparent
that i will never be able to control
who loves me

only who does not

not that i don't want people to love me
of course
but...

some people who think they love me
(who don't even really know me)
think their love gives them rights to me

which they don't have any right to at all

now, i know i'm not a knock-out
but there's more to me than meets the eye
and people are attracted to that

but that doesn't mean i want their hands on me
their kisses or their bad breath
they make all these assumptions...

they think they can do whatever they want

well, i don't want to play games
i will be honest with anyone
who is honest with me

say i love you with words
not your hands
or your dick

there's a difference between lust and love

it's hard to be attractive
i can't believe i just said that
but it really is

i have to be careful what i say
and who i sit next to
for fear of sending the wrong signal

to the wrong person

there were people at that party
who i wanted to talk to
who i wanted to know

but i spent half the night
fighting grabs
and taking (incredibly hurtful) jokes

i didn't have the time or the energy for my agenda

so they didn't have their way with me
but i didn't have my way either
and that's not fair

i'm too fucking nice to some people
i wish i had the courage to tell them off
or the strength to knock them out cold

because i'm tired of running away

and maybe someday i'll be cornered again
and i'll be too nice again
and i'll still be too tired to fight

i'll say no
he'll hear yes
and i'll take it

and i won't do anything about it this time either

because that's another fight
that all my friends and family will watch
and i can't run away once that ball starts rolling

Comments

( 2 comments — Say Something )
rosesinautumn
Apr. 26th, 2004 07:19 pm (UTC)
you and i are one in the same.
everything you said in your post is exactly how i am 24/7 and i cant help but try and be strong yet jump back into the routine of being weak.i hate all of it.
urgh. good luck w. all of it.
add me if ya want.
<333 Jessica
facelessjury
Apr. 26th, 2004 07:55 pm (UTC)
i know exactly what you mean i have to dodge strange mens grabes all the time!!! but on a serious side im sorry for all the people that make everyone else in the world look bad.
( 2 comments — Say Something )

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