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some things never change

so, saturday night i finally met up with micah. i'd been running late all afternoon. i think i was scared and, as our meeting time approached, i began to realize the gravity of the situation--i hadn't seen or heard from him in years, i didn't know what to say to him, my life has been almost completely uneventful.

i almost called it off.

but i didn't. and i'm so glad!

we met at his parents' house to decide where to go, but both of us hate that town and most of the people in it, so we just stood in his driveway. we talked about college, love, life, mr. jones, parents, friends, jobs, cars, roommates, significant others. it really felt like the only beat we'd missed in all those years was that bad one at the end of "us." i still loved him and i still trusted him (maybe now more than ever). i didn't have to hold anything back. he seemed equally at ease.

i forgot what it was like to have friends like that. i hate that we have to, but i love that we can just pick up (nearly) where we left off.

he's leaving for a summer in north carolina soon, but, hopefully, i'll be able to see him once more before he goes.

we've been emailing each other for the past two weeks, and i'm just loving it. apparently, i have a lot to say. i'm writing again, and it's amazing. i guess everyone was right about that writing business. when inspired, i really can do great work. i just haven't been inspired much lately. or excited.

but, jesus, i sure am now!

i was starting to settle for life "as is." i knew i was, but i wouldn't admit it. settling is so much easier than fighting sometimes and i needed a rest. but the past two weeks have been so shaken up, i couldn't sit still anymore.

i have hopes and dreams and i still want to believe i can attain them.

life really is beautiful, sometimes.

thanks to everyone who helps to make it so.

Comments

larbdoof
Apr. 26th, 2004 05:34 pm (UTC)
i'm glad that things went well with micah!

i'm always really impressed when i find a phone number of an old friend and call them up, call up an old friend for the hell of it, run into an old friend in wal-mart(hahaha, i know, but it's true) or whatever and fuckin have a badass conversation. it's really...refreshing.

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