i almost called it off.
but i didn't. and i'm so glad!
we met at his parents' house to decide where to go, but both of us hate that town and most of the people in it, so we just stood in his driveway. we talked about college, love, life, mr. jones, parents, friends, jobs, cars, roommates, significant others. it really felt like the only beat we'd missed in all those years was that bad one at the end of "us." i still loved him and i still trusted him (maybe now more than ever). i didn't have to hold anything back. he seemed equally at ease.
i forgot what it was like to have friends like that. i hate that we have to, but i love that we can just pick up (nearly) where we left off.
he's leaving for a summer in north carolina soon, but, hopefully, i'll be able to see him once more before he goes.
we've been emailing each other for the past two weeks, and i'm just loving it. apparently, i have a lot to say. i'm writing again, and it's amazing. i guess everyone was right about that writing business. when inspired, i really can do great work. i just haven't been inspired much lately. or excited.
but, jesus, i sure am now!
i was starting to settle for life "as is." i knew i was, but i wouldn't admit it. settling is so much easier than fighting sometimes and i needed a rest. but the past two weeks have been so shaken up, i couldn't sit still anymore.
i have hopes and dreams and i still want to believe i can attain them.
life really is beautiful, sometimes.
thanks to everyone who helps to make it so.