sWell (shakewell) wrote,

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i deposited my first paycheck from the 'x today. and since it had been over two months since i deposited my last paycheck, i'd forgotten that i'd been putting money from each check away for ayden.

so, in honor of ben's visit to indy today and in light of my now being dead to him, i took all that money out and spent it!

i got some good little gifts for a couple of friends and i also bought some cute things for myself. i finally got a pair of fucking sunglasses too (thank god!).

i saw a lot of cute things that i would have loved to have bought for ayden, but that's not my place anymore. so, i just bought some snazzy, dressy stuff for me instead.

i think i could really get into fashion. who ever thought i would be out shopping for skirts and heels? certainly not me. but it sure does feel good to look good.

it also feels good--really good--to not apologize for not doing anything wrong.


sometimes, i really fucking love mall muzak. it gets me SO pumped.

probably too pumped. heh.


the phone calls today were quite a mess. i made a practice call to domino's and ordered a pizza. i pretty much fucked that call up in every way possible. ops!

after that i felt like i couldn't possibly do any worse, so i called micah. i think i was fine, but i could tell he was super-nervous, so that made me nervous. man... i think i may have hung up on him in the end, i really don't know. i was glad to talk to him again, but i was really glad to get off that damn phone too.

i called angie, but just left messages. she's so hard to get ahold of in person.

i called wes, but he wasn't home. it was during that call that i noticed i have two different greetings depending on who answers the phone. if it's the person i'm trying to reach i just say "hey, (your name)! what's up?" and hope that they recognize my voice. if it's anyone else, i say "may i please speak to (that person)?"

i think the "may i please..." business makes me come off like a dork, so i try to avoid saying it to people i actually hang out with. of course, i don't want come off as rude to anyone else (especially parents) so that's why i try to be polite to others.

^it's probably things like that make me so nervous about making calls.

hmmm... stewbot called before ER and then i called him back after ER and that was cake because i talk to him all the time.

i was also going to call my sister, but it was late and i never can remember when she works, so i scratched that plan.

and i couldn't remember when i said i'd call me0wkp so i didn't call her either. i will definitely call her when i get to town Saturday!

and at some point i will have to call wheninhell.

oh and i have to call nicholas back even though i just talked to him yesterday.

how does someone who hates the phone so much end up making so many calls?! it's crazy...

much love.
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