sWell (shakewell) wrote,
sWell
shakewell

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mind numbing

over a year. what a drug out stop, huh. i'm shaking. probably because i am finally understanding what is going on. we don't get along. we don't treat each other the way we need to be treated. we can't change each other the way we had hoped. we can't tolerate physical interaction for more than a few hours.
no matter what we do, its under appreciated. i don't make you happy. and that damn sign compatability thing was right all along. i tried to look past all of that.
but it caught up. i wish i had more to say. i wish i could make it all right. but i can't. and i'm sorry i wasted your time. i'd love to remain friends. but it doesn't look like i'm good enough for that. reply if you'd like. best wishes.

...

he will be happier. his friends will be happier. it's better this way. i know that. it hurts a lot. but i'm glad he's finally figured it all out. this has been far too long in the making.

i'm happy that i knew him at all. that i got to share in a part of his life and watch him grow up. i learned a lot from him. about boys, about the world and about myself. it was never a waste of time.

i can't say that i've progressed at all, however. i learned a lot. but i know i'll make the same mistakes tomorrow. at least he has gained some knowledge from this. i know he'll be ok. but will i?
Tags: break up, jo3, reflection
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