sWell (shakewell) wrote,

don't touch my stuff

let me just preface this entry with the following:

i know that i am extremely sensitive and i know that i read a great deal of meaning into things that other people do not. this is far from the ideal person that i would like to be, but it is still who i am.

so, i thought it was annoying when people like jo3 and xheartfallx were using my magnetic poetry before i ever had a chance to. i mean, here were these two gifts from my parents that i'd taken all the time to set up, but hadn't had a chance to use. and jo3, who wasn't even speaking to me at the time, was using them, not just to make poetry, but to make statements to and about me. grrr!

eventually, i did have a chance to write a few lines after some pretty traumatic events in my life. obviously, these weren't award winning poems, but they meant something to me. but, apparently they meant nothing to jo3's friends friday night, as they picked them apart to write sentences about mooning people because tequila tastes sweet.

now, i know you're all thinking, "but, amanda, it's just magnetic poetry." and you're right. but it's also my poetry, written with my magnets, on my refrigerator, in my apartment. and they had no right to mess about with it without my permission.

all this has just served to remind me just how antisocial i actually am. i have never liked having people over, especially in my room. i don't like them touching, using and snooping through things. doesn't anyone have respect for personal privacy? i don't like them putting their shoes on my bed or not using coasters on my desk. doesn't anyone have respect for personal property? having people, besides boyfriends, over actually makes me physically ill.

but what i really dislike is the fact that no one i know ever seems to think about how what they do will affect the people around them. this most certainly is the "me" generation. i think about other people so much that i let them put their shoes on my bed or keep me up at night, while my stomach knots up, because i don't want to call them out and embarrass them.

the logical thing for me to do, would be to just join the rest of the mob and quit giving a shit about how what i do makes other people feel. but, we all know i can't do that. the closest i can come is to make broad generalizations here on livejournal (except, of course, those savage three who leave me no other choice but to name them).

i have no idea why, but i still believe that all people can be good. i believe that good people will not take advantage of others and will not take offense when in the wrong. i believe good people will always want to be better and will want to help others do the same.

it all boils down to my belief that we can never escape this circle of life and death until all people are in the same state of nirvana. actually, i don't even know if i believe in reincarnation anymore. but, i do believe no man can be truly happy while another man suffers.

also, ignorance does not equate to true happiness. all men should strive to know all things, themselves best of all.
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