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clearly, you're not paying attention

after reading amber's comment today, i thought perhaps i hadn't been as clear as i would have liked when i was discussing accidental pregnancies.

but, looking back on those two entries (1, 2), i feel that i have.

"i think we can all agree that no kid wants to look at his birth certificate and figure out that he was an accident... it's the kind of thing that can make you wonder whether you are a blessing or a burden when your parents are experiencing hardships."

after finding something like that out when your parents have kept it a secret from you, you may wonder how their lives would be if you hadn't been born.

when your parents start talking about divorce or cheat on each other, you may wonder if they'd even have gotten married were it not for you.

when they complain about their jobs, you may wonder if they would have finished college or stayed at a more enjoyable job, were it not for you.

when they dream about buying fancy things, you may wonder if they could afford them, were it not for you.

etc.

and, hey, i'll bet there are kids that weren't accidents that have those thoughts to.

i just wanted to be clear that i thought (know) these could be consequences of a child finding out the hard way. i'm sure things would be much less problematic for the child if his parents were honest with him from the get go. and i'm sure it would also be less of an issue if the parents had the partners, jobs and all the things they ever wanted.

i never said it made anyone bad parents or that it meant anyone loved anyone any less.

i feel i've been perfectly clear on this point.

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