of course... i'd forgotten how hard it is to be alone. and it is different to be alone with him than it is to be alone for real. i guess i should have thought about that before i left. i know i did the right thing, though. he was being so mean to me. he was seriously hurting me. and i deserve so much better than that.
i'm really glad i can finally say that. i know that there are other fish in the see. not only can i find someone else, i can do a lot better. i'm an awesome person. and i do deserve to be happy. so fuck all that nonsense.
i'm not going to pretend that i don't still love him, though. i do. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. but not the way it was. not with me making all the sacrifices and him reaping all the benefits.
i don't want to end up like my parents. it simply isn't an option for me.