sWell (shakewell) wrote,

glug, glug. drinking alone. [melo]

i'm the bitch. i'm always the bitch. always the one to blame. its always my fault. i don't know how it happens. i never even see it coming. but it always comes. and i always fall. and here i am at rock bottom again.

and he's always right because he's so goddamn perfect. he never does anything wrong. and he's so quick to blame. he can see all of my fault. well he won't see these. not this time. i'll cut and he won't see because he can't even stand to look at me. and no one else will see because i don't have any real life friends.

and every night i'll drink myself blind and hope that he has to be the one to find me dead in the morning. i want him to see what he made me. i'm so weak. i gave in to everything he wanted. and now he wants nothing from me. so i'll be nothing. i'll try one last time to make him happy. because what else can i do?

i can't live in this house with him for 11 more months. i can't go to classes with him in the spring. and i can't go home. i got myself into this and there is only one way out now.

then she can be there to comfort him. because she's always there when i'm not. even now. especially now. and of course i gave them the opportunity. i deserved this.

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