a friend of mine committed suicide last week.

now i know what i need
is to talk to my friends
but i'm putting up walls again
isolating myself
offending and disappointing
those closest to me

it's the wrong thing to do
but i can't stop it

and if i can't stop it
it's going to take me back
to the same place it always does

i'm not sure i'll make it back from there again.