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i am legend

i've been worrying, lately, about my legacy. will it be a mishmash of stupid quizzes and deep, dark depressions? i don't even write love letters anymore, nor do i get them. i must admit that they are a great source of amusement and, perhaps, insight into my mind.

but, as i said, they are no more. i have thrown most of them out, along with the trophies and plaques and all other things celebratory of this life. so, why, after all of that is gone, would i begin to fear for my legacy?

regret, i suppose.

what's done is done, though. so i wonder, what can i do now? what will i do today that should be remembered tomorrow? nothing comes to mind. i have fleeting passions, but nothing noteworthy.

it concerns me that i should have this desire to be remembered well, all of a sudden. sure, there's always been an unspoken hope, for who wants to be remembered poorly or, worse yet, forgotten? but haven't i got a half century yet to live? won't a death prior to that ripe old age be only tragic and unfortunate?

another birthday on the horizon must be blowing in these dark winds. another year wasted, more so than any other before it. another empty calendar beckons more of the same.

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( 2 comments — Say Something )
indybrittney12
May. 28th, 2008 01:39 am (UTC)
Atlest you've gotten love letters. All I get is junk mail from GEICO. Which I end up just sending right back to them.

I wouldn't worry about your "legacy" people will remember you for your bad ass kickball playing and organizational skills. Oh and peeing behind the dugouts too.
ladyjay19
May. 28th, 2008 12:32 pm (UTC)
My journal is often my solution. I know it's cheesy to a lot of people, but I'd love for someone to one day read my livejournal after I was gone and say to themselves,

"I understand so much about her now."

Then I'm just consumed with how they could logically not find it or get into it and I get depressed again. But it's a start of a legacy.
( 2 comments — Say Something )

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